When you are planning a date, do the same outings seem to repeat themselves? While dinner and a movie can be a pleasant evening out, why not plan a more creative date that plays into both your partner and your self’s character strengths? Doing so can create an experience that can make both partners feel closer to each other while at the same time allowing them to share and express similar interests and personality traits.
One way to do this is to sit down with your partner and each write down 10 character strengths about the other. Seeing what your partner identifies as being your strengths can often be a surprising and rewarding experience. This alone is one way to compliment the other on what you admire about them. Once you have identified each others’ strengths, compare and identify common strengths. Choose one, and create a date that allows both of you to express and experience that strength. If for example both partners shared the character strength of Appreciation of Beauty, a visit at an art museum, or a nature walk could be planned.
Another way to identify your strengths is to take the VIA survey of Character Strengths. Martin Seligman and Christopher Peterson developed a classification of 24 universal character strengths. These strengths identify the characteristics that make someone feel at their best. When using our strengths, we feel like we are truly being ourselves and often experience flow (being so immersed and energized by an activity that time seems to stop).
Creating and sharing an activity together that utilizes similar strengths, is a fun way for a couple to discover themselves and each other through experiences that bring out the best of them. The next time you are thinking about going on a date with your partner, try identifying your common strengths and find an activity that allows you experience them together.